It’s My 4-Year Diaversary

In one week, I will be in New York getting ready to run the 2015 NYC Marathon!

It’s funny how things come full circle. On Oct. 20, 2011, I posted on Facebook that I had just booked my trip to NYC for the first week in November to see the foliage in Central Park. I had been wanting to see it, and my sister and I decided to make the trip over.

Four days later, on Oct. 24, 2011, I was admitted to the hospital with symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes (I was obviously diagnosed). Today is my four-year “diaversary.”

I don’t “celebrate” the day, but I acknowledge it every year because it was literally the day my world turned upside down. I was a healthy 25-year old. I rarely got sick but I went to the doctor that morning because I hadn’t been feeling well for almost a month.

That September, I was covering the press conference for the American Idol auditions in Pittsburgh. Jennifer Lopez was walking into the convention center, and I looked up to see her going through the hallway above me when I noticed I was having a hard time seeing her. My vision was really blurry, and no matter how many times I blinked, it would not clear up. I remember thinking, “I hope I don’t need to get glasses.” As the weeks went by, I started noticing that I was losing a lot of weight (quickly) and I was always thirsty. My vision came and went, and I contemplated making an appointment to get my vision checked since everyone in my family wears glasses (except me). I mentioned maybe going to the doctor one day when I was at Starbucks with my sister. “I’ll ride it out a little, and if it doesn’t get better, then I will go. I feel fine otherwise!”

Then came the peeing. I COULD NOT stop going to the bathroom. I thought maybe it was all the water I was drinking to quench my constant thirst. My thirst had gotten so bad that I started hoarding water bottles and hiding them around my room and in my purses because I was afraid I wouldn’t have access to water. Diabetes briefly crossed my mind. I remembered reading “The Babysitters Club” books as a kid, and one of the main characters, Stacey, had diabetes. In one of the made-for-TV episodes, Stacey indulged in too many cookies around Christmas and displayed the same symptoms. Half jokingly one day, I said, “Maybe I have diabetes” when I was talking to my boyfriend. “Why would you say that?!” he responded. His college roommate had been diagnosed with Type 1 earlier that year, and he knew it was no joke and how dangerous it could be. I felt silly for saying it. Obviously I was fine (right?).

After a few more weeks of symptoms, I really couldn’t take it anymore. I was absolutely miserable. I was thirsty all the time, I couldn’t stop peeing, I couldn’t see, I was SO TIRED, my hair was falling out more than normal…I Googled my symptoms late Friday night and the first thing that came up was Type 1 Diabetes. I was terrified and called my boyfriend. He told me that if I really thought that, I needed to see a doctor and stop speculating. I brought it up to my mom the next morning and burst into tears. I almost talked myself out of calling the doctor that Monday morning (Oct. 24), but I had promised my boyfriend that I would go, so I got an appointment immediately (I was supposed to be at jury duty, but luckily was not needed).

I explained my symptoms to the doctor without telling her what I thought, but I knew what she was thinking. The nurse came in, tested my blood sugar and walked out. When the doctor walked back in, my stomach dropped. She explained my fasting glucose was 280 (normal is 70-100) and asked if I knew anything about Type 1 Diabetes. She explained that I was not allowed to leave the office alone and someone had to pick me up to take me to the hospital immediately.

I stayed in the hospital for three days. I was told that I was lucky to go in when I did, as I was experiencing diabetic ketoacidosis and I could have gone into a coma. I was hit with so much information about carb counting, insulin injections, testing blood sugar, insulin-to-carb ratios etc. etc. etc. It was a blur. I remember feeling like I should be scared, but I was numb. Maybe I was in denial. I was upset for my loved ones, but it didn’t hit me until after I was discharged. I was happy to be out, but I was also sad because I was on my own in the world with this new disease. I felt sadness for a solid week. Life as I had known it was over, and I needed to adapt to being a person who essentially has to manually perform the work of one of her broken organs-one injection at a time. I remember lying on the couch in the darkness, and my mom said something along the lines of how she wouldn’t ever fully understand how this felt for me, but that she knew I had the strength to overcome it. I still think about that a lot.

I’ve come a long way since then, and it’s nice to use this day as a reminder. I’ve always been a stubborn person, and in this case, it’s helped me. I refuse, refuse, refuse to let diabetes get in the way of me living my life. Sure, there are things that I can’t do or that are harder for me to accomplish, but I won’t let that bring me down. I do experience “diabetes burnout,” where I am just so sick and tired of dealing with it to the point that I don’t care…but my stubbornness overpowers that feeling very quickly and I get back on track. I am determined to do what I can to live a long, healthy life.

My running journey, and these last couple of months of marathon training in particular, symbolize my daily struggle with Type 1. Some days are a breeze to get through, and others just make me want to throw my hands up and yell, “I give up!” But you learn to dust yourself off and tackle the next day, the next run, the next obstacle.

A week after getting out of the hospital, I was in the car on my way to New York City to see the fall foliage in Central Park. And in one week, I will be in New York once more to run 26.2 miles-hopefully making it to the finish line among the beautiful leaves in Central Park. I never would have thought that I would be a runner, and my journey has definitely been a hard one with plenty of obstacles. But the moment my body turned against me, I fought right back. This is my way of proving to myself that I CAN.

And I WILL.

I had this bib customized from Races2Remember for the NYC Marathon! Can’t wait to represent 🙂